My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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