whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sponge bath it is.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
