And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
jump out the window naked night went bad
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
