You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
we made out on top of his cat.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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