Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
