Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
i now understand why vodka
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
