i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
