At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I forget how to act sober
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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