He is such a slut. More and more my type.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
