DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize