I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
