The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
