Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
