honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
