We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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