If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
