? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Randomize