Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
