If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is wine microwaveable?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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