I'm so fucking centered right now
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
