sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize