how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize