I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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