it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
