You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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