You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
