Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Randomize