Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
