so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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