How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
