she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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