If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
