I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Randomize
