white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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