This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize