so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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