Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
