we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
