I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I still have a little drunk in my system
you never un-have a 4some
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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