I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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