My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
