On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
