Plan B is the new Plan A
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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