I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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