ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
