Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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