Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Randomize
