You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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