that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
This is my life. Enjoy the view
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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