why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
