I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
