everyone is single if you try hard enough
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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