So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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