I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
