are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
The uberlube is also flammable
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
