Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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