I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
