Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I woke up under a house in Key West
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