I want to make a zoo with you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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