You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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